OhMyFuckenGOD!!!

I JUST WANT TO PUNCH PEOPLE IN THE FACE!!!!

omgosh so many people.

let me get a job and move to salem..god...phien qua.

2:33am

for some reason, my entries always been sad and miserable.

im not a miserable person at all. if u guys really noe me, im not. promise.

but agian i am sad agian tonite. finally found out sang finally have a girlfriend. im so finally happy for him to finally let it go. but y do i feel so uneasy? i thought i want it to end a long time ago. but of course when i think i finally have feelings for other people. sang come back in my mind. GRH I CANT STAND THIS!!

all i want is to date agian and love a person once agian and be happy about it. is it too much to ask??

i dont want to be the slut anymore. i want my own relationship. i want to love one and stay with one.

update on my depression now.

so yeah im finally on medication to help me out this time. most of the time i think or at the least it did.  but its taking so long for me to actually feel it. random dosing off. and crying to myself suck ass. then i have to bounce back up to avoid any attention. i swear to god by the end of the day i just want to knocked myself over and sleep. but of course. i cant sleep agian..

of course i forgot to take my medication tonite. since i just got home. i feel so gross and nasty.

im gonna take my medication now and tears myself to sleep.

Goodnight everyone.

8:37p.m.

i was woken up by chien and mom's arguing agian. about the same topic agian. daddy o daddy. wth is going on with the family. money money money...sigh*

sigh* im finally feeling alot better about myself. thank goodness. give props for the people who invented these medications.. althought it took awhile...but its starting to rub it. sigh* the bad news is...i think i might relied on these baby for a LONG time..cus if i dont the consequences is that the depression will come back worst then it did before..holy crap...dont let my laziness get in the way PLEASEE!!

P.S. Thieu Nhi is really my life.

oh yea..mommie actually ask about my condition LMAO i try to explain...but i dunno if she understands...she actually talk more about herself. maybe she trying to let me see how she deal with it. but i guess thats the difference.. i have the knowlegde to get professional help. while she deal with it her way..whichever works for u i guess.

SIGH** i became one of those people who need-a-cup-of-coffee-in-the-morning-to-function-correctly.